There are things you cannot change no matter how much you want them to be. There are also things you wanted to work out so bad, but they didn’t. It left you broken without words, bleeding dry till your body felt numb. But what else can you do then? Besides crying, obviously – acceptance.
I learned this the hard way. I used to think if I worked hard enough, if I proved my worth twice as much, I would achieve it. I could tick off my bucket list and pat myself on the back for making it work. Unfortunately, that is not how life works. Sometimes you try and succeed; you fall, and someone catches you. But most of the time, you try and fail countless times, you fall and meet the ground.
It’s overwhelming, really. But then, I would say that I get exhausted over time. I started to let things be – job application declined? I will keep searching then. Unreciprocated feelings? It’s okay, it happens a lot so I let it be. Feeling empty? It’s okay, I will start reading again to fill the void. Lonely? I will just sleep.
Life doesn’t always go the way you want. It takes a lot of patience to get to a point where I feel like luck might be on my side. So, instead of forcing things, I might screw around and accept things I cannot change. I’ll just wait. Wait.
